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Carolyn (Kay) Grinnan (Drinard)

Dear Brenda and Jon,

We were so saddened to hear of the loss

of your son. Please know that you and your 

family are in our thoughts and prayers. We

can’t imagine the great loss that you feel.

May the heartfelt sympathy of your friends

give you comfort at this devastating time.

With love,

Kay and Dan Grinnan

Mike Floyd

One of my favorite posting from Begin with Yes.

When we lose someone we love, we discover that time does not heal everything. After a while, the ache in our heart begins to ease a bit, and we laugh again, life goes on and many times we reconnect with those still physically with us in much deeper more beautiful ways. And eventually the good memories outnumber the sad thoughts and we begin to sense that what we thought was lost, has actually been with us all along. We can’t explain it, touch it or prove it – but there are moments we catch ourselves smiling because we know it's true. ❤ Begin with Yes

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Brenda  & Jon - I don't think we ever met at Tee Jay, but I  join my classmates  in extending my heartfelt condolences to you on the loss of your son!  I am so sorry you have gone through this ordeal, and hope you can find some peace in your good memories of him as well as the comfort provided by your family and friends. Life is so short, and we need to cherish each day like it is a gift!   Many prayers and blessings are being sent to you and your family as you go along your way. I wish I could be there to console all the people in our class who have lost those that they love, but this is the best I can do from 3,000 miles away.

Melvin Katz

Brenda: I want to add my condolances to you on the loss of your son. I am very sorry for your ,oss and wish comfort to you and your family at the loss you have suffered.

Brenda Jenkins (Armstrong)

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Sorry I have been so out-of-touch lately!  I caught a nasty cold on Easter Day & have been fighting it, all the way through to a Wedding we attended in Texas last weekend!  I could not believe how GREEN Texas is!            I always thought those "Cowboy Movies"  were filmed there, but I guess more than I realized were filmed in Arizona, or places like El Paso!.......Allan Forman, you were lucky!  There is NO followup procedure in Arizona  by M.D.'s who do Cataract Surgery!  I asked & was refused. Also, the  Medical Assistants who do the follow-up are not Certified! The New Law to cover that was just passed in January, with a window of the next 7 months for them to take a course & pass a test to be Certified.  I am always "the tip of the iceberg" because Arizona is only 100 years old, instead of 412 years , like Virginia, or 243, like the rest of the original "colonies" turned to states.  I'm debating whether to return to the same facility for the second eye, or to declare my independence from "The Assembly Line!". Time will tell, but we have a lot of traveling yet to do this Summer, and I need to get rid of this cold!  There are a lot of allergies in the Desert this year!......Regards to all you classmates out there! 

Peggy Smith (Robins)

To Barbara Seely and T.J. friends, thank you for the birthday wishes.  Alex and I went to Florida to visit with my  sister and her husband, and I had a wonderful birhday.  We went to Sea World, which was so fun!  Many blessings to you all for a wonderful year ahead.  Love ya, Peggy Smith Robins

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Hi, Peggy!  Happy Birthday!  I see you loved Florida!  We try  to visit there each year & I love it, too!...........                    I remember you were in many of my classes at Westhampton!  I still have all those old photos from school!

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Just read the new story about Westhampton School. We will be in Richmond in June, so I hope there is something left of our school for my Granddaughter to see when we arrive.  I seem to remember that Belle Landrum said they were going to save one classroom for Memoirs of our days at Westhampton.  I hope that    still stands!  This new transition is breaking my heart & those of my classmates, as well!!

Jo-Ann Olkowski

Russell, many thanks for taking the time with the librarian to figure out the meaning of the wall hanging.  You are absolutely right ... FREEDOM does not come free.  We owe our thanks to all who have served to give us the freedom we have in this country.  I make it a daily practice whenever I see a veteran to shake their hand and thank them for their service; the same holds true for all our uniformed first responders - police officers, firemen and women, and rescue squad members.  The smile on their faces when they are acknowledged and thanked is so worth the good feeling you get about that few minutes you took to make them feel good.

Jo-Ann

Russell Flammia

Hi Jo Ann, I know the Vet appriate your graitude, it means a lot to them. You said it better than I can in your message.  We're on the same page.  

Jo-Ann Olkowski

Thanks, Russell.  Oddly enough, right after your post I was watching some of the Fleet Week in NYC things on Fox & Friends and there were two vets demonstrating the proper way to fold our flag and the meaning behind each of the 13 triangular folds - it gave great insight into something I did not know and an even greater appreciation for our flag.  There was also a veteran who played The Star Spangled Banner on a harmonical!  Great stuff!  He was a medic stationed in England and part of the D-Day landing on the beaches of Normandy.

It's true that what we don't learn from history and change is likely to be repeated.

Have a great day!

Jo-Ann

Linda Fiske (Wehrle)

Thank you for the thoughts on Vets. It is very special when someone says Thank you for your service. 

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

I also thank all those in our class who have served in the Military. But I am confused as to WHY we celebrate Memorial Day with a Picnic!!! Does anybody know WHY????

Mike Floyd

Marilyn, Google doesn't know either, but it started with decorating the graves of soldiers after the Civil War.  All agree that Memorial Day isn't just about picnics and cookouts.  It's about honoring all of those who served to protect our freedom.  The cost of freedom isn't free.

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Yes, I know "Freedom isn't Free,"  Mike!  I am just thinking about all my family members who were in the Army & WAAC during World War 2 (photos of whom I sent you last year), Joel's Uncle  in the Navy, and how they are now buried in 3 different cemetaries in different States, far from here! It wasn't until I moved to my condo (5 minutes from the Marine Base in Yuma, Arizona) that the meaning of this holiday was truly explained to me!  Not even those very same relatives talked about it, when they were alive!  It was "just a picnic day!" Now I think we should have celebrated it more appropriately by visiting the Cemetary where my relatives were (are) buried! Each time a plane from the Marine Base flies over my house during "Training Season" in April, May, and June, I think about all the Servicemen in trenches in the fields, with planes flying overhead, and I can get some sense of the terror or pride they felt, depending on whether those planes were flown by Enemies or Allies. Also, there are a lot of patriotic people here who Retired from the Service.  Yuma was recently voted "The Most Patriotic City in the USA !"

My Granddaughter has been in Israel for the past 3 weeks, with "The Birthright Program."  She has toured many areas with her group of 40 Arizona State University students and members of the Israeli Defense Force go everywhere with them, for protection.  In addition to visiting "Yad Vashem Memorial Museum" in Jerusalem, the tour also took the students to Mount Herzl, where members of the IDF are buried.  The Security Guards in the IDF were in tears, because some of their friends were buried there.  My Granddaughter wrote: "It was a surreal experience!  If I lived here, I would be in the Israeli Army NOW!"  I think she is learning MORE about "Freedom" on this trip than she EVER did in school! 

I am thinking that during our trip East to show our Granddaughter "Where Grandma grew up,"we need to stop in Baltimore & Richmond to show her where her Great-and-Great-Great-Grandparents are buried. I don't know WHEN we will have another chance to do that, because she has such a busy schedule, and we only visit Richmond ONCE every 5 years.  "Family History" is becoming important to her!

Jo-Ann Olkowski

Marilyn, probably a lot of the silence after returning from a war is a combination of many factors. "War is Hell" is a true statement (General Patton?).  When faced with enemy guns determined to kill you it's terrifying enough 24/7.  Some of your relatives could have been part of a group who suddenly found themselves looking at unimaginable horror at one of the many German concentration camps ... the shock of seeing mere skeletons of men and women in prison clothing ... and with all those Stars of David ..... "it's ,,, true ... all those rumors and denials of death camps for Jews ... ."

My mother-in-law's only brother survived the Death March at Bataan ... for the rest of his life, he never mentioned a word about war when he got home.  Another uncle was a medic landing in Normandy, France - he never talked about the war.  A cousin returned and just wandered around the rest of his life. popping up unannounced here and there at relatives' homes only to silently disappear a day or so later.  He never recovered from what, during WWII, was called "shell shock" and is today's PTSD. It takes a toll people in many different ways.

Memorial Day IS a day of memory and honor - in NYC it's a week long event called "Fleet Week."  But, it's also a sort of "unofficial" start of summer ... time to pull out the grills, get together with family and friends ... some of whom may be active military home on leave or who are now veterans ... a time to relax and enjoy together the freedom we have.  So, there are picnics.

Jo-Ann

George Armstrong

 If you search on “cemeteries use as social sites” or “picnic at a graveyard” you should be able to find articles from the Atlantic and Vintage News resprctively that should shine some light on the history of cemetery usage as social as well as memorial sites.

Since I’m already on line, as we remember those who died in the uniformed services (“it is altogether fitting and proper that we do this”) I believe we should also remember those who died in war times while serving in the Merchant Marine.  Those who served, especially in WWII, knew they were at high risk of being killed as the transported vital goods and equipment  to our allies even before we officially declared war.  Without this vital life line, it is possible (some say probable) that the war would have been over before we entered it.  How likely was a merchant seaman to be killed — about 1 in 26.  This represents a higher mortality rate than any of the uniformed services.  To my knowledge, I have never known a merchant seaman, but I can’t begin to acknowledge how much I respect and appreciate them.

In closing, please remember those who died so that this nation “of the people, for the people, by the people shall not perish from the face of the earth.”  Besides the great words of Abraham Lincoln, I recall the words of Ronald Reagen who said that we should remember that each of these people represented the loss of two lives— the one they had lived and the one that they would have lived.

Mike Floyd

George, thanks for mentioning the Merchant Marines.  There is an interesting book titled The Mathews Men about the heavy toll on the Merchant Marines from Mathews County, VA during WWII.  For most of the war they transported good without any protection or escorts.

Many natives of Mathews were lost within sight of our coastline.

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

Thanks for your feedback, George and Mike.  Jo-Ann, I was one of the lucky ones!  My ancestors were very intelligent people who came to the U.S.A. long before World War I or II.  They left Poland and Ukraine in the very late 1800's & early 1900's, during the era of the Pogroms. They were survivors!  One Great Uncle ran away from serving in the Russian Army, and when he was not allowed to serve in the U.S. Army, because he was an Immigrant, he joined the British Army instead and went to help liberate Israel from the Turks!  He then brought over his Parents, Sisters, and Brothers to Anerica. Those men and women in our family who served in the U.S. Armed Forces came home without scars, because they were not on the "frontlines!" So the  stories we heard were not ones of "The Horrors of War," but of my parents' growing years in the U.S.A. between 1907-08 until we were born in 1939-44. My Grandparents were all gone from this world by the time I was a child, except for one American Grandfather who did not speak much to kids, and only briefly to his family and business associates. So I have no sense of my family's history, other than a few stories that my mother recorded in a little book published after she passed away, and a few tales from my Dad!  The history  of the era of "The Shtetl" is most clearly explained in a book my Sister bought called "Photographing the Jewish Nation," by S. Ansky, and the people of the previous generation pictured inside look a great deal like my Mother.  Many Jewish people of that generation were superstitious and afraid of cameras, like the Native Americans, so there are probably only one or two photos of my Grandparents in existence! Jewish History of that era  is mostly recorded in Story-telling, by authors like Isaac Bashevis Singer, Sholom Aleichem, Isaac Peretz, and the next generation of American and Israeli writers like Bernard Malamud and S.Y. Agnon. Jewish immigrants moved around so much that a lot of Family History got "lost in the shuffle.". What is missing  from documentation belonging to us can only he found in the history books like those written by Abba Eban and Nathan Ausubel, etc. My Mother & my Aunties were very patriotic people, who would probably be horrified about what is going on today in Washington, D.C., and on the Border, because their Grandparents were all Immigrants, and my Grandfather's Wife and parents were also, but they had no tales to tell of "The Old Country."  Recently, I have discovered that several of my Jewish classmates had grandparents who lived in "The Old Jewish Neighborhood" near Main Street Station in Richmond.  I can remember visiting there as a child, but I never knew my Sunday School classmates had grandparents who lived there also!  Here we are,at age 75, " connecting across thousands of miles," and our grandparents lived next door to each other, or just a block or two away! Jewish History doesn't dwell on Wars, but good times with family and friends.  The rest is "just a blur in memory!"

Jo-Ann Olkowski

I'm very glad we went to school when we did.  Between many of us whose paths in life took us in many different directions, our individual interests, etc., we are still in a sense educating each other.  Like your ancesters, Marilyn, my Polish great-grandparents came to the US in 1888 ... but they did so legally, with papers in hand.  Under our immigration laws at the time, they were detained in quarantine until they could have medical exams and other processing procedures before being released to travel to their destinations or told they would not be admitted.  It should be no different today.  Come here legally, go through the process ... and Welcome to America!

For anyone who is interested but doesn't have an Ancestry account, I would highly recommend that you give it a try.  There is a wealth of information available and new records coming out all the time.  You might discover some relatives you never even knew you had!  They may know stories that you didn't know or pictures you don't have that can be attached to your family tree.  Actually, when my son went to boot camp right after high school he and his bunk mate struck up a conversation only to discover they were cousins.  His bunk mate was an Olkowski from Buffalo, NY!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Jo-Ann

Marilyn Wolfe (Ruben)

PS - George, your comment about "Picnics in the Cemetary" reminded me of"Dia de Los Muertos," a holiday when Mexican people visit the graves of their ancestors and eat their picnic meal there and/or leave a meal on the gravesite of the Departed!  It is THEIR "Memorial Day!"

Jo-Ann, I assure you that my Great Uncle, my Grandparents and Great-Gradparents, and their Sisters and Brothers came here legally, and it probably was because of the precedent to the Asylum Act, which was passed to protect victims of War!  If that idea did not exist, my ancestors would all have died in East Europe, and I would not be here to tell you about it!  "Papers" may not be available when people are running out the door of their burning homes and trying to prevent being  killed!  "Survival" is of the utmost importance!  So emergency situations call for emergency solutions! The "papers" can be drawn up at the Border or Point of debarcation with Lawyers who are trying to help victims of war or persecution obtain "a fair hearing" at the Immigration Court!  Thus, that Law was passed in these United States, which was once a more Humane Country, honoring the philosophy of the Statue of Liberty. We can't ALL plan our lives to be perfect!  Crises DO occur!

PS- Citizenship requires 5 to 10 years of an Address, a Job, payment of Taxes, English lessons, U.S. History & Government Lessons, and a Test on the same, plus $5,000-$10,000 Cash Payment. In Arizona, I have had 7 different addresses, 10 different jobs, have been hit in 5 car wrecks by Gang Members and have seen them invade my once peaceful and attractive neighborhood, am currently unemployed, and I lack  $5,000-$10,000, so I guess if I was living 15 minutes North or 30-45 minutes South of here "on the other side of America," I would not be admitted either, and would probably die in my native country which I was fleeing from violence!  As it is,   I am an American citizen, and my daughter helped  me to find a new home in a safe place!  I studied history and government, and I speak English, so I am luckier than the immigrants!  And I will never forget that were it not for my Great-Uncle, I would never have been born in this country, nor would my parents.  Therefore, I believe in helping others achieve their goals of someday becoming American citizens, because "There but for the Grace of G-d go I !"

Arizona seems like it is still "The Wild West!". But living here IS "A Learning Experience!" The Native Anericans say: "Never judge a man until you have walked in his shoes!" My Granddaughter returns today from her 3 week visit to Israel, and I think she may have learned something THERE, also!

William Anderson

In our remembrances, let's not forget those classmates of ours who lost their Dads in World War II. The Moms had to deal with their grief and figure out how they would survive and look after their kids, our classmates.

Bill Anderson

Mike Floyd

Thanks Bill and Linda.  My brother, sister and I were raised and put through college by a single mom.  I think about not just those that lost husbands in the war, but also those that had to deal with husbands that came home damaged by war.  A Vet once said he died in Vietnam, but just hadn't stopped breathing yet.

Once a year our yacht club takes a bus load Wounded Warriors out for a day on the water followed by steamed crabs.  I was surprised to find that more than half of these warriors were women.

Belle Landrum

First of all:  Happy Birthday, Mike.  Thank you for your efforts to keep all of us in touch with each other and for you updates.

Memorial Day or me has changed of the years - from a day out of school evolving to memories of my relatives who served in the army.  My father's oldest brother was killed in the fields in WWI.He was conscripted  in Richmond.  He was seventeen.  He was given two weeks of training and send to France.  Two weeks  later he was killed.  October 9th, right as the war was declared over.  This past week we put a flag on his grave as well as on another brother of my father's, and another uncle who had been a chaplane(sp), landing at Normandy and  at the Battle of the Bulge.  He always said  that General Patton saved him.  Now that I am older I remember these uncles and think of the awful things they must have seen.  I don't think my Father ever  got over the death of his oldest brother and the circumstances of his death. 

We are all so fortunate that our families served our country. We had care-free childhoods due to their service.

Marilyn I'm with you on the immigratioin situation (maybe I can learn to rap).  There is very little going on with Westhampton School.  B.S. had a groundbreaking last week, but they still haven't handed in a traffic study.  A year late and counting.  They should have gone to Westhampton and learned to  hand in things on time!  So far, they've gotten away with it.  I'll keep you posted as best I can.  Wish they would let people in  the school to find a keepsake or outside to take a brick.  I've heard that the Grove Ave. merchants want to take the over-the-creek playground for parking.  Well, it is a beautiful Spring in Richmond with dogwoods and roses blooming.  A place to enjoy life - as long as the tornados avoid us and streets aren't flooded.